It’s not that I don’t empathize with you. He let you down.
He probably cheated. You feel used, I understand. And I sincerely feel sorry
for you.
But I don’t understand how when you had consensual sex while
you were dating and you promised to marry each other, it was both of you ‘making
love’ and the moment he broke his promise, it became him ‘raping’
you. I’m sorry lady, but the truth is, he dumped you! Yes, he used you, but you
weren’t raped. Rape is when a monster irregardless of your consent claims your
body. Usually he does not have your consent. Did I mention that he does not
even regard the necessity of your consent?
When you claim your previously love-making sessions fuelled
by desire and passion on both sides to be ‘rape’ once he dumps you, you are
exploiting an immensely serious word and a horrific act, which leaves victims
scarred for life. Very few recover from what they experience though none of it
is their fault. When you term your circumstances for what they aren’t, you are
diluting this grave crime that we call ‘molestation’.
He might have played you
but it was with your consent. As brash and uncivilized as it sounds, you agreed (literally) to share the bed with him
and one thing led to the other. You permitted him to do what he did. You were
partners to what occurred. And now, you unfortunately are confusing the meaning
of the word. Had you been in a relationship with him and he’d forced himself on
you, it’d be rape-what you claim it is. Or even after your consent, if he did
what you hadn’t permitted him to, it would be rape.
He betrayed you lady. That is what he did. You shouldn’t
have attached sanctity to love making if you treated it as a condition to
marriage and then indulged in it before you were married. He didn’t rape you.
He broke his promise and let you down. Yes, he broke your heart. Yes, what he
did is unforgiveable. But it’s a relationship gone wrong. He stabbed you in the
back.
I absolutely, whole-heartedly support our war against rape
and that includes identifying when it has occurred and when it hasn’t.
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