BROS, HOES, 'FRIENDS' and FOES

I was having this little chat with a very dear friend yesterday and realised all the common grounds we've been treading. But what caught my attention the most, is the fact that, nearly all of us 'deal' with a 'friend' who goes ahead and flirts with our significant other irrespective of whether you are married, engaged, just dating or whatever. They will even forget their own flame, i.e., if they have only one, and will giggle away as if they are the most amazing thing to have happened on the face of the Earth. You obviously know the worst part, -they are either your best friend or at least belong to your close group of friends or even worse, they could even be your sibling. These 'FRIOS', as I call them, plainly beacause "FRENEMY' doesn't sound appealing to me, are 'Friends who are actually FOES' and trust me on this, they surely have no respect for you. Though this friend that I was chatting with did manage to quiet nicely drive away her frio, I couldn't help myself from being reminded about my frio who shamelessly went ahead and flirted right in front of me. Yes, I have been avoiding her and we aren't even really on talking terms but it did hurt to see such a close friend throwing herself all over him right there. I, at first, saw it as harmless flirting and in fact was blaming myself for over reacting and had even tried reasoning with my man, that he 'misunderstood' her when he saw what she was up to and asked me to tell her to control her slutty ways. I know, back then, somewhere at the back of my mind, I certainly realised what she intended, but was probably scared about losing our friendship or being termed 'over protective', when I have always tried to establish that, though having seen how extra marital affairs of important people in our lives can tear down families, I have sculpted myself to be a very secure and stable woman and have gone to great lengths to prove this true. Yeah Yeah, I understand what a big blunder I was infact making and I really loathe the fact that I let her get away with the crap unhurt and not insulted! Anyway, in such situations, like a very dear aunt of mine says,

"Never mind the chick peas..as long as your man doesn't lose his beans !!"

No doubt, whenever we come across articles or incidents like this, we tend to think,"Oh! That's one possessive being!" but deep inside we all have gone through it. And the worst part is when friends of your spouse start teasing the two right in front of you. Though you may interpret it as a light hearted joke, baby, let me remind you, most of the love stories started off as jokes, and this 'joke' will very soon end up your relation looking like the biggest joke!! In this scenario, these so called 'friends/brothers/sisters or whatever' will target you as being possessive and over controlling!

Dear, at that moment, God forbid, your spouse loses his/her marbles, blushes and agrees with them, know that, it's time for you to start dusting your suitcases cause you're, more than probably, not going to be around for long.

I've always believed that in such scenarios, it's your frio who's to blame. They do not respect your relation with your spouse which every person who calls themselves your 'friend' should,yes, it's a rule and there are no exceptions to it except for ill-mannered people. In the few cases where respecting this relation proves to be a massive task, they should at least have respect for the bond you both share. In any case, don't despair, stand up to them and clearly state what you have to. Fling the shit back to right where it came from and with greater speed! Again, like the same aunt of mine says:

"..and when it comes to your spouse, oh-my, nothing should stop you!!"

P.S.: Heyy! Before you fling it back, note that your spouse isn't getting over friendly with this frio and ensure that you aren't going to face the 'three in the marriage' news. In that case, remember my voice in your head "YOU DESERVE BETTER!"

But preceding your reaction, know when things are getting out of hand and have crossed the line of decency long back. If you think it has, the alarm's rung! Get ready to play dirt! And don't you dare think you can't..everyone can and you surely are in the 'Everyone'. And you know what the surprising thing here is,  you need to hang this 'NO ENTRY' board on the door of your house for those 'friends' who were teasing your spouse with your frio. They need to be kept at not one, but at least a hundred arms' length away because guess what..(?) they oh so obviously don't respect your relationship either!

Remember, that members of both the sexes on the planet face this situation but if your significant other is basking in the pleasure of having gained someone's unwanted affection or showing off, it's high time you need to consult a counsellor!! LOL! And God forbid, if they begin to threat that they'll walk away hand in hand with your Frio, trust me, it's time to let go. Don't waste yourself fighting for crap.

THE GUY ACROSS THE PAVEMENT

I saw you there, across the pavement. Her hands curled into yours. The early January sun stroking her face, you staring hard at me. I don't know if you had memories flashing through your mind like I did in mine, they just zoomed around inside my head. Yes, to see you there, after all this time, I was pleasantly surprised. For a moment I wanted to reach out and say "Hello, there!" and then realised I had nothing more to say.
Now when I think of it, I know I did, I had a lot to say, so many things had accumulated since the last time we'd spoken that I was afraid we wouldn't have time enough. I couldn't risk letting you go. But I guess you had moved on, and I had to.

Was I still not over you? I don't know. Were you over me? I didn't know until then.

Something on your face told me, it wasn't with anger that you stared back, but the situation we had both got ourselves into. I don't know for how long we stood there staring at each other, I don't know why the world froze around us, I don't know why I couldn't hear a sound anymore. Was I still stuck in the time we were in before? But when she turned to look at what had caught your unwavering attention, I guess I just turned in time, to save you your answers. I couldn't any day since, explain to myself why I felt guilty, why I turned away, why I didn't want her to see, why I wanted to hold your hand and lead you to a place where only we'd be. Should I feel sorry?

I wanted us to be in that place where it's just you and me like before, when we didn't have to walk away from each other, like we never existed. Where I could hold your hand and giggle as if nothing was a bigger proof of sanity than laughing for no particular reason. Where you'd still walk with me drenched through the heavy rain trying hard to win the tug of war over the umbrella. I loved how we sat at the bus stop and made fun of complete strangers and how people looked at us as though we were lunatics. You know, I still turn my head to look at the place we sat ourselves at every time I walk by the spot.
But that day, on the pavement, after I turned, I hoped you would think of me when you were alone like I do every single day. I wonder if you still lie down on the beach, counting the stars or thinking about 'everything' like we used to. And I wonder if it hurt you that I walked away, did you feel a knife dashing through your heart as if it would be sliced into two, like I did? I wonder if you heard those three words, the ones they call 'magical words' from her, the ones I was too terrified to admit. I wonder if you wonder of me.
I turned and walked away that day, my heavy wedding ring glistening on my ring finger.

FIGHTING WITH THE BULL

I write here of YOU. YOU, who've taken the bull by it's horns and thrown it around a zillion times. It's totally fractured, lying there in a disheveled state, looking at you turn your back and walk the 'walk of victory' through half closed eyes. Just as you extend your hand to push open the mighty door, he's up again! Charging at you at a speed too ferocious for your reflexes. You are taken aback. And before you know it, you've bitten dust. He's atop you huffing and puffing, blood thirsty red eyes ordering you to give up. Lying helpless below him there, you know you are going to lose your life if you don't act soon. You clearly remember what they said, "There are two ways to get out of this-1. Either of you GIVE UP. 2. Or one of you DIE!" The moment you heard it, you knew there was only one option-the bull has to die.

You've been fighting this battle for years-day after day, night after night and it was nothing new to have been crushed down right before you reached the door. There beyond the fence you can see the meadows, the luscious green grass waving with the slightest breeze. The bees kissing the sunlit flowers. You can hear the river rumble by from the doorway you were at a few minutes ago. And you want to be there amidst the bliss-the spectacular world on the other side. But the truth is, you are here-sore and hurt. Coated in dirt and clay, your clothes almost completely torn, you're bleeding so much you don't feel the pain any more. All you know is you're lucky to be alive.

No, I wouldn't call you an escapist if you decide to quit. I wouldn't label you if you just decide to fool the bull and run for the exit and eventually cross over to the place you've wanted to be in for so long. What matters is, you gave a fight to the best of your ability. You tried to change your situation playing by the rules.

This is exactly what happens when you find yourself soaked up in dirt and in a mess, crawling to freedom, to safer grounds. Don't give up without a fight! Go by the rules a little more than you can. And at the end, do what your heart desires. If you think you are putting up a fight you are eventually gonna lose, walk away! Yes, you should definitely "TRY TRY UNTIL YOU SUCCEED" but not until you aren't alive to bask in the glory of your success. You should walk away to a place you'd be better off in!